Beatrix Kiddo: I don’t know why I got the dispatch department. I need tech support. Could you transfer me please?
Replicant: I see here that you have a parts order being processed. Do you need the status of your shipment?
BK: No. I need support. Could you please transfer me to technical support?
R: Okay. But before I transfer […]
Enron’s ex-CEO and founder, Lay & Skilling, were found guilty today of conspiracy, wire fraud, securities fraud, insider trading and issuing false statements.
Yowza! Did they really think they could get away with inflating profits, hiding losses and misrepresenting the company’s financials? Technically, in a “fair” world, they could. Just look at other conglomerates and you’ll see […]
I’ve always sustained that a person who can make me laugh, is worth his/her weight in gold. Here’s my list of favorite comedians in order of preference, as of late. This order obviously changes with my mercurial mood swings and life happenstances:
1. Eddie Izzard - Fabulous British Executive Transvestite. His comedy is for intelligent people […]
Among the things that royally piss me off is corporate attitude. In my opinion, you have to be pretty devoid of a life to wholeheartedly identify with an intangible thing.
Anyway, I get this e-mail today from one of the macaques:
“Beatrix, in an effort to grow our database with high quality contacts, here is a list […]
I read this article about how colleges are now expected to babysit students by keeping an eye on suicidal wannabes. The alternative is to have some psycho (i.e. irresponsible jackass) parent sue the college if their kid decides to go ahead and move into a casket. Correct me if I wrong, but isn’t it the parents’ […]
Not content with slowly torturing me the whole day with stupid crap (and trust me it’s like he’s pricking me with paperclips trying to bleed me to death), the subnormal abomination of the managing director has devised a new method of torment: WAITING UNTIL 4:50pm TO GIVE ME INANE PROJECTS THAT TAKE NO LESS THAN […]
Dumb Associate Full of Turd: Beatrix, why haven’t you answered my e-mail?
Beatrix Kiddo: Do you mean that cryptic note with the appalling spelling and ghastly use of grammar?
DAFT: Uh, yes
BK: Because it was so poorly conceived that it didn’t merit a reply
DAFT: Well, maybe I should speak to the managing director then
BK: Yeah, maybe you […]
Managing Indirector: Hey, Beatrix, how long does it take to PDF a document? (Am I the only one bothered by the stupid use of an acronym in place of a verb? However, cannot resist…)
Beatrix Kiddo: Oooohhh, it depends. How many pages? (Just indulging their fantasy that this is really hard shit and that I’ll have to […]
The word American bugs me.
How pompous and egotistical of these morons to take a word that effectively encompasses one entire continent with more than 40 different countries and unilaterally redefine it to mean one country. Now, understandably this was meant to happen. In the U.S students don’t need to bother with silly empty knowledge like geography. Clearly, “business” […]
the post office has apparently moved operations to my desk. As evidenced by the lot of boxes I’ve received. These packages are not exactly for me, you see. They are for the managing imperfector.
In three days the count is 17 boxes and 9 envelopes. Why does that piss me off? Well, for starters, NONE of them are work […]