Hello, You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts Animal Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:
Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice
Press 2 if you know we […]
Funny thing how karma works. Cutting someone off on the street clears the path for you to careen undisturbed into a wall. Or you spend your life making your assistant’s life a living hell and then your vacation gets cancelled.
Case in point: Mr. Burns decided that he has worked hard enough (trolling the Internet for laptop […]
I think the real estate bubble in the Bay Area is about to burst. I can tell because no less that 21 realtors have applied to the administrative position we recently posted.
Now it’s my time to get “realty” even.
First, it seems these realtors all think they are entitled to $90K a year while starting at […]
Imbecile-ssociate: Is that a new tattoo?
Beatrix Kiddo: Uhu (well, it wasn’t there yesterday, was it?)
I: Did it hurt?
BK: Nah (lie, 4 hours of gut wrenching pain than only a woman can sit through :-0)
I: I don’t understand people who get tattoos. What are you thinking?! When you’re old and your skin is wrinkled and saggy the […]
Ink Blot in Charge: Beatrix, here are my expenses for this month
Beatrix Kiddo: Let’s see. Oh, February expenses in July! I see you’ve finally come to grips with the idea of turning them in on time
IBIC: Uh? (oh forget it! sarcasm is lost on this life form)
BK: Never mind. I’ll process them
IBIC: Oh, also, can you […]
1. Go to www.google.com
2. Type the word ‘failure’
3. Hit the ‘I’m feeling lucky’ button
4. Enjoy!
Following our recent search for an EA, I’ve noticed that there are people out there who don’t have an ounce of common sense.
The process has also made me realize that I’m fucking brilliant and that I’m rotting away here when in fact I’m should be the President of the U.S.A. Would certainly do a better […]
My goal for 2006 is to move to the countryside. As in, no traffic, no stress, no drama. Actually, no people. I want to move to a cabin in the woods. Ideally, Walden but if that is not available, then Napa or Sonoma will do. So, I’ve been looking for an apartment, cottage, house, warehouse, or even a […]
The entire year I slave away in this stink-hole in the hopes that by year-end I’ll get the cash to buy that Powerbook I’ve been lusting after.
Wrong!
Seems like we don’t have any money this year. Either. We do, however, need to make sure the indirecting abortion is able to expense his GPS equipped running socks or his […]
We’re hiring. Finally, I’ll have someone to do all the menial tasks I don’t feel like doing.
The fetus-with-a-mullet (Jesus, cut that hair already) called me in to go over the job description for the new victim, uh, Executive Assistant. So anyway, I’m there writing page after page of requirements for the position. It’s like we’re […]