I can’t keep this in anymore. At the risk of completely blowing my cover, I have a confession to make. Well, not so much a confession, as a blatant mockery of my moss, boss, whatever, for being so badly punked.
This is the season of Borat. Mainly because he has a movie out. Which by the […]
So I was a wee bit bored last week at work and decided to surf Craigslist to see if anything interesting caught my eye. As I was reading the GIGS section, one ad seemed like a great deal. A woman needed someone to watch her cat, in my house, for two months and offered 200 […]
Plucked from e-mails, memos, and general correspondence, I present to you the most common misspellings that my bosses, the Ivy League school graduates, make on a daily basis. Each set reflects words that, according to them, are interchangeable. Following each, is, well, my commentary:
lose - the opposite of win, to misplace something, i.e. “Once you lose […]
Bold Ninny: I need coffee (he proclaims as he stares right at me from the other side of the room)
Beatrix Kiddo: Okay. I’ll make some
BN: No, not office coffee (I wonder why he doesn’t like my coffee anymore?). I want a Starbucks latte
BK: Okay
BN: So I’m going downstairs to get one
BK: (does he want me […]
Human Peroxide Vulture: Hiiiiiiiii
Beatrix Kiddo: Umm, hi? (as I recoil in horror at the ethylic fumes exhaling out of this girl’s piehole)
HPV: I’ve been watching you (who could blame her? I’m bloody gorgeous) and I wanted to tell you that I think you’re hot
BK: Thanks? (great, the fact that I’m standing behind a massive column, […]
You’re probably wondering how it is that I have so much free time to update this sappy blog, given that I am an executive assistant to the president of the U.S. and A. Wait…what? He’s not?! But he’s perfect! As far as I am concerned he has all the qualities needed: White, Jewish, Rich, Oblivious, […]
Remember O.J. Simpson? Last time he was in the news was 1995. He was being tried for the murders of his ex-wife and her yummylicious friend.
Despite the mountain of overwhelming evidence (like, um, blood, timelines, neighbor’s accounts, past wife-beatings, etc.) pointing to his guilt, the 12 stupidest people in the planet, quite possibly the universe, acquitted […]
Here’s the latest from Greedion.
Recently, he went to a VC conference. A VC conference is when a bunch of condescending assholes get together to celebrate the relentless reaming they give their investors with bad investments and huge management fees. It’s like an evil Star Trek convention. Only treknerds allowed.
During the course of this sausage (ish) fest, […]
Allow me to digress a bit from my usual fare of office gloom, to join the bandwagon of celebration.
First in the agenda is the booting that Donald Rumsfeld (Dumsfeld?) got after the recent midterm elections. Apparently, the Chief-Idiot-in-Command realized that Americans are generally, err, against sending our teens to a certain death in Iraq. Next […]
It’s been established that I pretty much hate every aspect of my job, except that is when I get to put my feet up and play movies all day long in the projector, but I’m not writing raves about venture capital here, am I?
Anyway, the one task that I abhor the most is making coffee…
Now, I dig coffee, […]