Incubus: So are you doing anything special this weekend?
Beatrix Kiddo: Uh, not really
*Note to executive assistants everywhere - This question is solely intended to find out how much fun you’ll be having this weekend, so he can royally fuck it up for you. Example: if you tell him you are running a marathon on Sunday, I’ll […]
Itchy: I ran into ex-employee X the other day…
Scratchy: Okay
I: Aren’t you going to ask what transpired?
S: I’m sure you are going to tell me anyways
I: Well, so I ran into her…
S: Yes, I internalized that part already
I: And she was with her husband
S: Mmmkay
I: And we had a short conversation
S: I actually have calls […]
To: Itchy & Scratchy
From: Beatrix Kiddo
Please note that I’ll be starting a new dishwasher job to supplement the miserable salary that you pay me here. As such I will be leaving work promptly at 4pm every day so I can dwelve into the joys of washing yet more dishes.
———————————–
To: Beatrix Kiddo
From: Itchy
cc: Scratchy
OK but I should suppose that you […]
Incubus: Beatrix, what days are you going to be off again?
Beatrix Kiddo: All of next week
I: Ummm, that’s not going to work (Mr. Bloomberg has come out)
BK: That’s strange. It worked 3 months ago when I made sure no one else would be off this week
I: Yeah, but that was before I decided to go […]