A while ago I was entrusted with the task of buying a special tea for his Royal Highness. His uppity ass heard somewhere about this very exclusive tea that only the greatest connoiseurs of tea would drink. And so I bought two bags of Lapsang Cheusong for him.
It is described as a top quality black […]
Beatrix Kiddo: Let me have a tall skinny mocha with no whipped cream, half the mocha, hold the foam, 72º Celcius (for JAP of course) and three shots of espresso (for me of course).
Teen in Training: Certainly. Can I get your name?
BK: It is Beatrix
TIT: (Puzzled look, pen and cup suspended in mid air) I’m […]
Is there a heinous act left on earth that everyone can agree upon it being wrong?
Case in point: ASSHOLE Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who pleaded guilty in a federal case two weeks ago for his role in the fighting and execution of eight dogs (that are known). Of course, the dogs were all pit bulls. Naturally, […]
How come I’m never in the plane where this happens: Girl Kicked Off Plane After Tantrum? I’m not a huge fan of flying and I ever rarely do. But when I have to do it, it never fucking fails there are no less than 5 screaming babies seating around me. What the fuck?!
It was bad enough to be […]
I’m mostly ok physically after my encounter yesterday with humankind’s Public Enemy #1 but I’m sure the mental scars will take a long time to heal…
The beast ran up to me as I was walking my dog yesterday. Mind you my dog is a pretty beefy looking pit bull but that didn’t deter the monster […]
Plucked from e-mails, memos, and general correspondence, I present to you the most common misspellings that my bosses, the Ivy League school graduates, make on a daily basis. Each set reflects words that, according to them, are interchangeable. Following each, is, well, my commentary:
lose - the opposite of win, to misplace something, i.e. “Once you lose […]
Human Peroxide Vulture: Hiiiiiiiii
Beatrix Kiddo: Umm, hi? (as I recoil in horror at the ethylic fumes exhaling out of this girl’s piehole)
HPV: I’ve been watching you (who could blame her? I’m bloody gorgeous) and I wanted to tell you that I think you’re hot
BK: Thanks? (great, the fact that I’m standing behind a massive column, […]
Remember O.J. Simpson? Last time he was in the news was 1995. He was being tried for the murders of his ex-wife and her yummylicious friend.
Despite the mountain of overwhelming evidence (like, um, blood, timelines, neighbor’s accounts, past wife-beatings, etc.) pointing to his guilt, the 12 stupidest people in the planet, quite possibly the universe, acquitted […]
Let me start by saying that I loooooooove Craigslist. It’s the virtual hangout of the community! A place where I’ve found all my apartments, jobs, things to do during the weekend, tacky and duct-taped (but free!) furniture, friends, and on and on. My only pet peeve with it is when I try to sell some stuff.
Like […]
A while back I posted “10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong.” Everyone got the joke. Including my gay friends. And by my gay friends, I mean, San Francisco, including the whole parade…
For the little people who flunked Reading (and Sarcasm) 101, the purpose of the post was to ridicule the absurd reasons that people put forth […]