Incubus: Beatrix it seems like there was a mistake in the quarterly report
Beatrix Kiddo: Where?
I: See it appears that there’s one word that is not aligned with the rest of the others
BK: I see, the one that’s off by one letter to the right?
I: Yes that one. I think we need to reprocess the whole […]
All things have a place in the universe. They also have laws. For example, a predator is a carnivore. Law of nature. My dog licks his balls. Bam! Law of nature. Incubus is a scamming thief. Law of motherfucking nature.
Time Thief: So Beatrix my laptop broke
Beatrix Kiddo: (eye roll square) What is this? The 17th laptop? Are […]
Time Thief: Beatrix, could you make a note to tell the building that the window in my office looks dirty from the outside?
Beatrix Kiddo: (munching through inhaling lunch) Hmmm…what?
TT: Yes, it’s totally messy. I’d like them to clean it up
BK: Sure (I’ll put it in the bin of “it never will happen”)
This deranged lunatic expects the […]
It’s no secret that TwatHead Ventures is the most unsuccessful venture capital firm that ever was. Odds are pretty high that if we (and by we, I mean they) fund it, whatever venture it happens to be, it will end as a catastrophic failure.
To put it in perspective, if THV would have funded Google, Yahoo’s […]
Incubus has confided in me that he wants to give his wife a nice 40th birthday gift. Does he think I’m all that trustworthy? Nope, he just wants me to organize the whatever it is he wants to do for her. Blimey.
The plan is to take her camping to Yellowstone National Park. With the baby… […]
The ocassion: Company’s non-denominational holiday dinner
The location: The ghastly hunting club that gives everyone the creeps (…plus food poisoning)
The guests: All the slaves employees, the bosses, and their idiot wives (and this time around also their kids…kids!)
Now, Incubus and Succubus have a penchant for doing seating arrangements because they swear that they are the ultimate authority […]
You gotta give it to Incubus’ evil genius. He has single handedly come up with the solution for not paying high prices at the pump.
Incubus wants to be good to the environment (this can also be interpreted as “I’m a cheap asshole and the Prius savings cockamamie story has yet to actually made a difference […]
Incubus got the envelope!!! The one from the IRS that is. The one that says “you’re being audited.” Break out the cymbals, this is the beginning of the end!
Of course in his mind (you know…the one floating over cloud 9) he is not the one being audited. The company is. Riiiiight, because that is the […]
Stupid LP: Hello, I’m here to meet with Time Thief and company
Beatrix Kiddo: Sure, please come in to the conference room. I’ll go get the partners…In the meantime, would you care for a beverage?
SLP: Thank you, I’m ok. Can I ask you a question about the parking?
Fucking ay. Gentlemen place your bets: will the stupid […]
Time Thief: Beaaaaatrix, can you call United?
Beatrix Kiddo: Sure, what for?
TT: I don’t like the seats they assigned. Change them per the usual and make sure they know that we are traveling with the baby
BK: (I pressume so that they can assign a stewardess to fetch clean diapers…idiot) Right, there’s a slight problem with the […]